The Beacon Online: Are we only as good as our achievements?

Form 5 was a hectic time for everybody, and as such, all of us were extremely stressed. It was a dramatic school day when I noticed that my classmate, Jane, appeared to be a little more stressed out than the rest of us. Apparently, something small had ticked her off earlier that day and she overturned a table, sending books sprawling on the floor; shouting curse words that were peculiar to hear from this usually prim and proper girl. She ran out of class after shrieking her head off. Although she had seemed slightly gloomy the past few months, the moment I realised the extent of her stress it still came as a bit of a shocker.

That was one of the first signs we had that Jane was going through depression.

    Everyone was appalled, to say the least. Jane was one of the bright high-achievers, scoring straight A’s all the time, was quite popular, and was even actively involved in charity. How could a person who was so high up there fall so low?

    But she did. It was interesting to see who still stuck with her regardless of her condition. Even her close friends found it hard to just sit with her when she wouldn’t say a word to them and they could feel the thorny, black wall she built around her heart. Sometimes she’d say things about jumping and taking her own life. At times, scars are even sighted upon her hands. It was very hard for anyone to be her friend.

    It wasn’t long before her grades deteriorated and the once high-achiever was now friendless, failing, and virtually had nothing - not even a spark of hope left in her heart. It could have stayed that way if we had not intervened. Although we weren’t even her close friends, we knew we had to reach out to her.

    After an excruciatingly long process, assisted by some new friends, Jane got back on her feet and out of her depression. But the damage was done and people never looked at her the same way again - she never looked at herself the same way again.

    When Jane realized she had lost everything that once made her who she was, she was distraught. It really made me wonder: what, then, makes us who we are if everything we once believed about ourselves could be taken away just like that?

    In college, many of us are high-achievers, using college as a platform to achieve success later in life so we can fully bloom like a metamorphosed butterfly. We keep on striving to make a name for ourselves, be it through academic or co-curricular achievements, so we won’t get lost in the fray of the crowd. Sometimes, I just feel tired trying to be that star that shines brighter among the millions. And like Jane, sometimes people try so hard till they die out.

    The problem with our society is that people are so judged by what they do or what they can do, up to the point they forget that who they are also matters. In an upper-class middle income group, not attending college would be considered blasphemy, and the idea of studying a degree outside the five professionally recognised courses(doctor,engineer, accountant, lawyer, or architect) makes people turn downtheir noses an inch or so in your direction. Studying overseas is the norm because we look down on a Malaysian degree and expect others to as well.

    Last year, I spent 3 months in an internship with a top accounting firm. As an intern with virtually no ranking, I was considered lucky to get a glimpse of the senior managers. It was a harsh reality of the working world whereby people were ranked according to their abilities, and correspondingly, the invisible social ladder dictated that I was nowhere near the rung of those who had higher ranks. Basically, it was a magnification of what already happens in our everyday lives – a person’s self-worth is only as good as his abilities and the things he or she can do.

    Now, this would be sad news for people like Jane - but fortunately, she is not considered a lost cause as she is still able to work her way back up into the society. She is still able to prove her abilities as a normal contributor to the society, but how about the people with ASD(Autism Spectrum Disorder) or Down’s Syndrome? What kind of contribution can they make to society? What kind of achievements can they accomplish? Close to home, does the fact that a person being the least intelligent in the class, make him or her any less of a human or any less worth noticing?

    When we base our sense of self-worth on our achievements, we indirectly tell people who are “nowhere in their life” that they do not own any value as human beings. Yet, we fail to realise how easily everything we have can be taken away in a flicker just like Jane. When I was working in that accounting firm - how I wished someone there would recognise me. Even a smile to acknowledge me as a human could have gone a long way, but it was a rare commodity. (Granted, there were some really nice people whose kindness in that stressful, hectic environment really gave me a lot of hope.)

    The question now is, do we want to give each person their basic right to be respected as an equal in the eyes of God? Or will we continue to support charity as long as it’s convenient and yet, turn a blind eye to the everyday ‘nobody’s in our lives?

    While aiming for success is great, we cannot let success and power rule over our identities lest we find ourselves at the receiving end of people who categorise us into the lower part of society. We, as a small portion of humanity, may not be able to change the ocean; but we can cast a stone to make many ripples (the essence of a wise quote by Mother Theresa). Maybe today, let one person know he/she is a human being worthy of dignity. Talk to that person in class no one talks to. Assure the guy who’s failing that his achievements don’t make him who he is. One day you may lose everything and realise, it is not what you do that makes you who you are. It’s the simple moments of life that reminds you- you are a human being. You are worthy.

Here’s a secret. That’s how Jane recovered. We loved her till she believed in herself again.

Dignity. I believe seeing this in someone, despite if you have a religion or not, is seeing with the eyes of God.