Are you an adult?
If you’re in Taylor’s Sri Hartamas, odds are.. You’re aged 17-19, and that on one of your recent birthdays, one of the many adults that surround you as you live your life has come up to you, patted you on the back, and said something to the tune of.. You’ve grown taller! You look so much like your father/mother now!” while suggesting that since you have now hit that magical age, you have now become magically more intelligent or responsible.
Unfortunately, even though it’s your birthday, and that there now exists a delicious cake set upon a table, it’s just another day. You haven’t magically changed by arbitrarily growing muscles or a massive, new beard. Perhaps your friends have pranked you or sprayed shaving cream over you on this special day of yours, but you’re largely the same human being as you were before.
So, “When did that happen?”, you ask yourself. You haven’t changed, you tell yourself. You’re still the 17/18/19 year old that lay in bed till 12 p.m. after having played Call of Duty till the morning, the same person who ate a bag of Doritos while staring at ten hours of How I Met your Mother in a row, a day before you were supposed to hand in your 2000 word assignment, and the same person who has no money to go to a club because of an allowance shortage.
Adulthood is not something that you suddenly come along on some random day of your life; It’s a role you just… Assume. Maybe you’re thinking to yourself: I’m not an adult. I’m just 18. I don’t feel any different! And guess what? This may very well be the case for the next ten years to come, because..
We’ve all been through the process of growing up, and we’ve all seen adults act smarter than us, take on more responsibility than us, and act tall and important. Maybe some of you have looked at them with scorn at some point, swearing to never become like them, and some of you have idolized them and dreamed of becoming the cool and mature people who can boss around the little kids and act old. Perhaps mum and dad never told you, but you just become an adult. There are no tests, there are no evaluations, and there is no coursework. Either you are an adult, or you’re not. Age, however the law may say otherwise, cannot confer adulthood. You can be 30 and behave like an idiot, and you can be 15 and know everything about the world.
So, I encourage you to look back at the life you’ve lived, to look back at everything you’ve done. You’ve learnt about the world through a lens called the media, and about interpersonal relations from your friends. Some of you have driving licenses, and can come and go as you please. Does this all make you an adult? Some of you say that it doesn’t, that it’s financial independence that makes you an adult.
I can’t tell you if you are an adult, or if you’re not; It’s a free country, and if you want everyone to call you Angelina Jolie, then so be it. However, I leave you with several things to consider as you ponder the existence, or non-existence, of your adulthood…
1. Adults are not defined by their age, but by their behavior.
2. Adults take on responsibilities and commitments, and fulfill them. They do not make commitments that they cannot meet, and promises that they know they cannot fulfill, and will break.
3. Adults realize that their actions have consequences, and they think rationally about these consequences before making their move. They know how to take risks and step out of their comfort zones appropriately, while at the same time knowing how to walk away when the time is right.
4.Adults possess a spirit of independence, and value themselves, realizing that performing self-sacrifice simply to fit in is not worth it, particularly when such self-sacrifice leads to harmful implications.
5. You are not an adult even if you have reached financial ‘independence’. Your parents have allocated resources into your life not simply as an investment, but also out of love. As your life holds consequences over theirs, they have the right to place concern over you and place input into your life.
6. Adults realize that boundaries exist in life, and do not cross these boundaries in blatant shows of self-entitlement. The crossing of these boundaries indiscriminately defines you not as an adult; It defines you as an immature person who does not understand consequences.
7. Adulthood is the ultimate goal of existence. Life cannot exist without maturity to act as a guiding principle to existence and decision-making. Refer to clause 1. You don’t automatically become an adult, even if the law says that you have, or if you’ve reached full physical maturity.
Maybe it’s best not to assert that you’re an adult time and again, but to recognize your current position, and work to improve it, though some of you have doubtless already obtained this designation. I don’t assert that I’m an adult, but realize that I have a long way to go… Maybe that’s the first step.
BY VICTOR TAN
Unfortunately, even though it’s your birthday, and that there now exists a delicious cake set upon a table, it’s just another day. You haven’t magically changed by arbitrarily growing muscles or a massive, new beard. Perhaps your friends have pranked you or sprayed shaving cream over you on this special day of yours, but you’re largely the same human being as you were before.
So, “When did that happen?”, you ask yourself. You haven’t changed, you tell yourself. You’re still the 17/18/19 year old that lay in bed till 12 p.m. after having played Call of Duty till the morning, the same person who ate a bag of Doritos while staring at ten hours of How I Met your Mother in a row, a day before you were supposed to hand in your 2000 word assignment, and the same person who has no money to go to a club because of an allowance shortage.
Adulthood is not something that you suddenly come along on some random day of your life; It’s a role you just… Assume. Maybe you’re thinking to yourself: I’m not an adult. I’m just 18. I don’t feel any different! And guess what? This may very well be the case for the next ten years to come, because..
We’ve all been through the process of growing up, and we’ve all seen adults act smarter than us, take on more responsibility than us, and act tall and important. Maybe some of you have looked at them with scorn at some point, swearing to never become like them, and some of you have idolized them and dreamed of becoming the cool and mature people who can boss around the little kids and act old. Perhaps mum and dad never told you, but you just become an adult. There are no tests, there are no evaluations, and there is no coursework. Either you are an adult, or you’re not. Age, however the law may say otherwise, cannot confer adulthood. You can be 30 and behave like an idiot, and you can be 15 and know everything about the world.
So, I encourage you to look back at the life you’ve lived, to look back at everything you’ve done. You’ve learnt about the world through a lens called the media, and about interpersonal relations from your friends. Some of you have driving licenses, and can come and go as you please. Does this all make you an adult? Some of you say that it doesn’t, that it’s financial independence that makes you an adult.
I can’t tell you if you are an adult, or if you’re not; It’s a free country, and if you want everyone to call you Angelina Jolie, then so be it. However, I leave you with several things to consider as you ponder the existence, or non-existence, of your adulthood…
1. Adults are not defined by their age, but by their behavior.
2. Adults take on responsibilities and commitments, and fulfill them. They do not make commitments that they cannot meet, and promises that they know they cannot fulfill, and will break.
3. Adults realize that their actions have consequences, and they think rationally about these consequences before making their move. They know how to take risks and step out of their comfort zones appropriately, while at the same time knowing how to walk away when the time is right.
4.Adults possess a spirit of independence, and value themselves, realizing that performing self-sacrifice simply to fit in is not worth it, particularly when such self-sacrifice leads to harmful implications.
5. You are not an adult even if you have reached financial ‘independence’. Your parents have allocated resources into your life not simply as an investment, but also out of love. As your life holds consequences over theirs, they have the right to place concern over you and place input into your life.
6. Adults realize that boundaries exist in life, and do not cross these boundaries in blatant shows of self-entitlement. The crossing of these boundaries indiscriminately defines you not as an adult; It defines you as an immature person who does not understand consequences.
7. Adulthood is the ultimate goal of existence. Life cannot exist without maturity to act as a guiding principle to existence and decision-making. Refer to clause 1. You don’t automatically become an adult, even if the law says that you have, or if you’ve reached full physical maturity.
Maybe it’s best not to assert that you’re an adult time and again, but to recognize your current position, and work to improve it, though some of you have doubtless already obtained this designation. I don’t assert that I’m an adult, but realize that I have a long way to go… Maybe that’s the first step.
BY VICTOR TAN
